Forum > Tuber's secrets > thread

She quickly snatched a whistle from her belt and blew as hard as her shortness of breath would allow. The sound it emitted would bring a guardian, who, in turn, would summon a hunting party. With a medic. Hopefully. There! Now, to -WHAT THE-- The young man previously crouching by the mud just leaped in, up to his chin. What was he thinking?! She kept running, dropped the whistle, and pulled a hunting knife from her belt before she took the belt and cloak off and threw them back the way she had come. She sliced the thickest vine she judged long enough, dropped the knife, wrapped the vine around her wrist, and dived into the gritty death trap. I hope this works. And I hope that brainless pixie gets someone useful, not birdwatchers or painters. Tourists. Useless, often screaming bystanders.

Her worst nightmare. Drowning in dirt is a pretty nasty way to go. She felt around in the mud, searching for the movements of a thrashing, panicked child. Nothing. Not good, she must've passed out from lack of air. Ah-ha! She felt a small figure suspended in the mire, like one of those preserved specimens in museums and laboratories. She pushed off the wall of the pit in an upwards slant, pulling as hard as she dared on the vine. She felt more tension on the vine. The young man must have seen it pull taut. Now, she just hoped he didn't pull hard enough to snap it.

Something hard smacked her in the face. A branch that fell in? No, it was too strong and smooth and thick. A walking stick! Far better than a vine, any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Assuming someone else had a good grip on it. She released the vine and grabbed the stick. The one holding the other end pulled. A controlled, steady, firm pull that didn't yank the stick out of her hand or her arm out of it's socket. She and the child were pulled free from the bog with a sucking sound and a pop as it released them. She felt a cloth clearing the mud away from her eyes, ears, and mouth. "Help the child!" She ordered with the first breath of air in her lungs. "Our best healer is doing everything he can." A deep, calm, mature man's voice assured her. "I trust him with my life. You've done quite enough for now." "That's what you think," She muttered as she took the cloth and finished cleaning the mud from her face. "My name is Justin. What do you call yourself?" He asked. She looked at him for a moment before answering. As if she were deciding whether to trust him with her real name. Anyone could find you in the registration books-if they knew your name. Supposedly screened information was easily bypassed if you knew what you were doing. Even if you didn't, anyone could wave forged legal papers to gain access. It's not paranoia, she tried to tell people. They openly mocked her the first time she tried to call attention to the security flaws of the public system. It's not like anyone is trying to ruin whatever life you have, they said. And completely ignored her point. No one is out to get you yet, but it's too easy for them when they want to. They laughed at her, and didn't even pretend to fix it.
"Silvia." She finally said.

maybe you should sign in a forum for young ambitious authors instead of posting it here

cheers

Maybe you should do what fourththing tells you AND continue posting your story here

whatever

I know I write a lot, but is it that obvious? It's not like I want to write a novel, it's just the way I show you what I see happening. I'd love to see what the rest of you come up with, because I'm just doing this from Silvia's point of view. Please, throw in some plot twists! Commandeer Justin, or enter a character of your own. Show me what you think of Silvia, using them. Do you see her as bitter? Antisocial? Or just someone having a bad day? Help me out, because my imagination can only go so by itself.

Justin nodded and went over to the medic, who appeared to have finished. "How is she doing, Avery?" Avery smiled as he began repacking his medical box. "She should be just fine. Of course, she needs to drink plenty of fluids to flush out the stuff she swallowed, and..." He opened a huge bottle of evil-smelling sludge. "Some of this, mixed with water for-" All the hunters (15 of them) began protesting. "Not that, Avery!" "She's just a kid!" "We all know you love that stuff, but it's not a cure-all!" "I can barely choke that down!" "Okay, I was nice when you made me drink that, but it smells rotten and tastes worse!" "Leave the kid alone." Avery glared at them all. "This particular tree bark has massive medicinal qualities." "Such as?" One hunter challenged. "Well, uh...it's, uh..." Justin stepped between the two. "We know you are an excellent healer, and we take your suggestions seriously. However, the liquified tree bark is much to strong for Marie. I mean, we could barely drink it ourselves, it's medicinal proprieties are so strong- isn't that right?" The men picked up on his commanding tone. "Oh, yeah, it's amazing." "Yep." "It's true." Avery grumbled to himself as he recorked the bottle. "Ungrateful kids."

Silvia rolled her eyes. Obviously the doctor had his quirks, though Justin and his troop put up with it and humored him. Now, where's the moron who brought the kid? There he is. He was covered in mud up to his chin and was-crying? Well, he was probably one of those sensitive imbeciles infiltrating the male society. Men should never cry at the drop of a hat. That was for girls, and men should be strong for their sake. And tears were no excuse for carelessness, especially with a minor in his responsibility. Silvia felt justified in what she was about to do. She marched up to him and jumped off the social cliff. "Are you out of your mind?! Why the h*** did you bring your sister here? How could you be so careless?! There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't have been at least holding her hand! You are an idiot of monumental proportions!!" He was speechless. At 17, Silvia was cursed to have one of those faces where you looked younger than you were (which was generally considered a good thing for girls- and still is) and stunted growth. She looked 14. Essentially, a little girl was chewing him out. With an extended vocabulary.

Justin's eyebrows almost jumped off his face. Silvia had that effect on people when she got angry. One of his men had a look of shock on his face. "You're that girl who yelled at Elder Cedric-" She spun around and shot him a look that said back off. "So what if I am? He deserved it, but was so used to being respected no one else had the guts to do it." She turned back to the boy. "As for you...words cannot describe what I'd like to convey to you, you irresponsible, crying, weird little man-child!" The hunter was still shocked. "You were put in jail for a week after you kicked him in the-" "And it was worth every second. The retard. Now I realize you may have heard lots of stories about me, but will you kindly SHUT UP so I can hear myself think!" Justin was not known for his patience. "You have an incredible lack of respect for your superiors." Silvia glared at him. "I don't respect anyone who thinks they deserve it without earning it. Especially when they have no idea what they're talking about. That boy-" "I'm 18!" "Oh, even better! A freshman in the course of life who has no idea how to navigate woods or recognize quicksand when he sees it. You're just incredibly fortunate that I was around, or that little girl would be dead. D-E-A-D. Well you know what? You can pray to whatever powers-that-be next time." (Actually, by saying that she hoped he would be more cautious in the future. Not because she wouldn't help, but because there might not be any help within hearing range.) "Who are you to be yelling at me? You're just a kid yourself!" "You really haven't been paying attention, have you? Well, isn't this just my luck. I'm just thrilled to be here, you know that?" You'd have to be deaf not to hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice. "This situation is under control, I am out of here."